Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Just Thinking

My friend Jodi shared her New York trip pictures with me today. I asked if I could use some for my blog. They took a bunch of pictures of Lady Liberty but this is the one I liked. Did Lady Liberty just say "Screw with me and I'll stick this torch up your ass!" I can only hear right out of one ear, maybe I heard her wrong.

I didn't want to think about 9..11 this year just like I didn't want to hear about it 5 years ago. 5 years ago my life was a totally out of wack. I had just made my ex husband move out of my house, my daughter Lauren was living with my mother, I had started a new job and I was trying to explain why daddy didn't live here anymore to my sons. I got a phone call that day at 9 something and the person asked me what city I was in. Why I asked and then I got the news. At first I thought about the Oklahoma City bombing and that 9/11 was a white boys sick joke. When I got home that night from work I gave myself a 1 hour time limit on watching the news. I don't think I could take more then 30 minutes. After getting the boys off to bed I realized I was shaking. My life had gone to hell and now the world. I cryed, read a book and some how went to bed.

Two days later while at work some nut around Bloomington Indiana decide to take out his personal plane. I don't remember if it was 2 fighter jets or 3 forced him to the small Bloomington airport a few miles away. I won't even bring up the noise but watching jets making hard turns right above my head flipped me out. My whole body was shaking again. That Friday the place I worked at fired over 100 people. I didn't get fired and I was Thankful. I was also still shaking.

That Sunday I went to church to hear a bunch of people talk about taking care of their own. Yes the good old rednecks from Indiana had visions of Red Dawn. Well I stopped shaking that day. I got pissed. I was Thankful I was alive and didn't understand people talking about guns in church. I really couldn't handle it and I haven't been back to church since then.

5 years ago my life was a mess but I'm Thankful I wasn't in New York City. That's the truth. The people that did live through those tuff days are stronger then me.

I'd like to thank Jodi & Bill for the picture!

Be safe...


meesh said...

I happened to be in NYC on 9/11 and I'm always interested in what people experienced in other parts of the country at that time. The thing about your church gave me chills.
Sometimes people tell me that I must be really strong and that they could never deal with what I did on that day. I tell them that we all have amazing reserves of inner strength and we just don't know what we can handle until we have to. Personally, I don't know that I could handle a seperation and job insecurity like that. You are one heck of a lady to have gotten yourself and your kids through that! Those are the kinds of things that the evening news doesn't run stories on. I think that's a shame because your heroism in getting throughthe hard times is every bit as important to your kids as a firefighter's on 9/11.

Lora_3 said...

Ok Meesh your giving me the big head. But trust me I'm no Firefighter. This dudes Rock and they went to the rock for the City of New York.

I was thinking about what you had written when I wrote this. That time was part of my book of pain.

Now I should say that I hooked up with the present Husband 2 weeks after that. :) So I wasn't all that big and brave. Oh crap, one month after 9/11 I bought myself a pair of black leather pants. (why?)

Be safe...

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